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Ramping up to what tends to be the biggest gift-giving event of the year, I reflected on the gift I gave that was the biggest miss.
Yes, there is a business lesson in here.
This doesn’t include people you don’t know well, because that can always be a complete guess. Those are more of a generic “a lot of people tend to like this and it signifies that I was thinking of you”. We all know, a gift certificate is the way to go here, folks lol.
And this doesn’t include kids once they’re adults; by then you no longer know what “stuff” they already have and you end up buying something they own three of. This is why I also now send my adult kids gift cards 😉
But this was a small gift I gave my closest person — my husband, the person I should know best — for Christmas a couple of years ago.
We don’t do big, lavish gifts. Ok, sometimes he’ll give me something a bit wild if he gets a nice year-end bonus. I don’t get year-end bonuses because I’m an entrepreneur lol. My gifts are always more practical, smaller, and I like them to be a little surprise. I want to provide a tiny moment of delight. A feel-good smile.
I had been noticing how he’d steep a cup of hot tea … and then a while later I’d find it sitting there cold. He has this whole specific mix he does — two different types of Asian tea bags, one of each, every cup.
This is his regular habit. Often more than one cup a day.
Cold cup of tea. I thought he was busy. Distracted. Getting pulled into work and forgetting. Meanwhile, he also drinks instant Vietnamese coffee, but he downs that quickly because if he’s making that, he clearly needs a caffeine jolt. That doesn’t get cold.
Point is: he makes enough hot drinks that it’s noticeable. We have an electric tea kettle for this purpose. A backup one new still in the box for when that one dies. A stovetop kettle. And a little travel electric kettle that fits in a suitcase because sometimes hotels don’t have one and we are not doing that (that particular no-reason-needed gift was a more recent hit).
As Christmas got closer, I kept seeing those cold cups and thought: sure, he can microwave it, but if he’s already forgetting the cup, stopping to reheat probably feels like another but bigger chore. So can I give him something that makes his life slightly easier?
Enter: the mug warmer.
His version you can either plug in or use USB power (two options — convenient!). You sit your mug on it, and it keeps it warm (Yes!). I even made sure to get the kind with automatic shutoff, both after a certain amount of time and when there’s no mug on it. Because if he was distracted enough to forget the tea, he’d definitely forget to turn the thing off (even more convenient!). I was going for easier, not something to remember.
It seemed like a brilliant little gift.
He opened it and asked, “What is it?” (normal question). I explained. He said, “Oh, okay, cool, thank you.”
Fast-forward several days — it had not moved, not been plugged in, little twist tie still wrapped around the cord, not been touched.
So I (helpfully) plugged it in for him. Positioned it right by his workspace. It only turns on if a mug is set on it, so it was ready and waiting.
A few days later? Still hadn’t used it. He’d actually moved it to the corner, out of the way.
I see cold tea again, so I brought the cup over, set it on his warmer. At this point I’m sort of forcing the gift down his throat. 20/20 and all.
He says thank you. Then picks the cold cup up off the warmer and sets it next to his computer. So I asked, “Did you not want to use the little warmer? Is it in the way?”
His answer?
“Well … I like that brewed tea cold. That’s why I leave it sitting there, so it gets cold.”
He boils the water, pours it over his two bags, and then lets it sit until it’s cold.
On purpose.
Okay you may be thinking ‘who does that!’ right about now, like I did. But that’s beside the point.
So not only did my little gift miss the mark, it did the complete opposite of what he actually wanted. D’oh.
I saw the cold tea and used my own expectations … if I brew hot tea, I want it to stay hot. I missed that he sips it cold throughout the day … meanwhile, if I’m drinking cold tea, I finish the whole thing at one time.
I assumed.
This was a pretty perfect reminder that even well-intended gifts can flop simply because they weren’t actually what the other person either wanted or needed.
That’s also a big part of why I started offering gift cards for my own services. I added that option upon some internal reflection right after this interaction. Entrepreneurs already get enough “oh this made me think of you!” gadgets that end up collecting dust. Lavender foot scrub. Pine-scented candle. “Boss lady” mug. Motivational desk sign. Fuzzy socks (although I do love a squishy, warm fuzzy sock, yet also don’t need yet another pair). A gift card lets their loved one gift them get something they’ll genuinely use and benefit from … their way, on their terms, at the exact moment support would actually help them.
It also made me pause and look at my own offers again. Lessons from life always need to be reflected in your business. Not in a big “business strategy overhaul” way, but just that quiet little reminder we all get sometimes — make fewer assumptions, listen more, and make sure people can get what they actually need, instead of what I think they might want. This is something I have to balance carefully. With all of my experience, I usually know what business needs (vs just the wants) and default to that because it’s the most efficient path — but it’s often several steps beyond where they are right now; so I have to meet them where they are and gently transition the gap between what they’re asking for and what will truly help.
I’m curious:
What’s the recent lesson from life that reinforced something in your own business?
Have you given a gift that didn’t quite hit the mark like you had intended?
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