How to Address a Competitor Who is Bad-Mouthing Us? | Marketing Q&A

Jessica, before we even get into tactics, there’s something important to say up front.

Sometimes our instinct is to ignore it and hope it goes away. We tell ourselves “we’re being the bigger person. We’re taking the high road. We’re not going to stoop to that level.” And sometimes that is the right move.

But there also comes a point where ignoring it allows the situation to spiral. Rumors compound like snowballs rolling downhill. Narratives get reshaped. Assumptions harden.

Once that genie is out of the bottle, trying to shove it back in is a lot harder than preventing it from getting completely loose in the first place.

Prevention is always easier than repair.

So the real question isn’t simply “Do I respond?” It’s deciding how you’re going to address it in a way that stops the spiral before it gains traction, which also includes when (and when is usually now. If you let it continue and address it right at the point where maybe it really is starting to die down, then it just breathes new life into it … best to get that out of the way early.)

Now, this is one of those situations where the details matter a lot. The right response depends heavily on what’s being said, who it’s being said to, and how your market behaves. That’s why conversations like this often deserve a deeper offline discussion, because there’s really no one template that works for everyone.

That said, there are some patterns I’m seeing more and more, and not just in small business. Some of these are things we see constantly in politics (and it doesn’t matter what party you’re in, or whether you’re talking small local vs national … they all do it.)

Because politics is covered so extensively by most media, this is where we have the most visible insight into some of these patterns.  And while I usually don’t “talk politics” … we get some solid examples for this discussion from politics. So let’s dive in to a subject I usually avoid.

The first pattern is deflection.

You ask a politician about “Issue A” … and somehow they’re suddenly passionately answering Question Z. You may not have even realized this happened and give minutes later you realize your first question was never answered. 

The pivot. It’s practically a professional sport at that level. And I’m seeing the exact same tactic show up in local markets.

Your competitor says XYZ about you, and suddenly you find yourself having to either argue about or constantly address XYZ. But the original topic was ABC, and maybe XYZ actually has nothing to do with you.

That’s what deflection does. It drags you into a side argument so the original issue never gets addressed, clarified, or resolved. Instead of staying on the core issue, you’re now defending something that was never the point to begin with.

It’s exhausting.

When that happens, your job is simple: keep bringing it back to ABC. Calmly, consistently, and without emotion. Don’t chase their side trail. Don’t take the bait. Restate the actual issue and the facts that support it.

(Pssst … sometimes you have to do this in personal relationships as well.)

It’s okay if you temporarily get distracted by XYZ; that happens. As soon as you realize you’ve entered the trap, pause whatever you’re saying and pivot directly back “let’s continue discussing my original topic ABC.”

That’s how you avoid getting pulled into a narrative that was designed to distract.

Another tactic you’ll often see is vague accusations. 

These sound like:

“I’ve heard some things.”
“People are saying …”
“There are concerns.”

Notice what’s missing? Specifics.

What things? Who is saying? (I wrote about a whole post about this concept, I will see if I can find it … talking about social media viral posts that have a format almost of two truths and a lie, they get you nodding in agreement by starting with facts that pretty much everyone knows, and then throw in a lie, but attribute the whole thing to “my neighbor”  or “my attorney” to add credibility. But the entire viral post is BS.)

What concerns? Don’t have specifics? Come back when you do.

Vague accusations create doubt without giving you anything concrete to address. You can’t defend against fog.  

The way to handle this is simple: ask for clarity. What exactly is being claimed? If someone has a concern, you’re happy to address it directly, but you need to know the concern to do so.

If they refuse to get specific, you don’t engage further. You cannot solve a rumor that refuses to define itself.

A third tactic is projection. 

This one is classic. Often, people don’t even realize when they are doing this.

The competitor accuses you of the very thing they’re doing. If they cut corners, suddenly they’re warning people about your “quality.” If they overcharge, suddenly they’re “educating the market” about pricing ethics. (Obviously not every time someone says these things are projection; sometimes they are accurate in which case you need to review your processes.)

Projection muddies the water so buyers can’t easily tell who’s who. 

Your response isn’t to fire back with your own accusations. Instead, increase transparency. Show your process. Show your standards. Show your results. When your operations are visible and consistent, projection loses its power.

Then there’s character assassination.

Instead of discussing measurable performance, they start attacking personality or intent. You’ll hear things like “You can’t trust them,” or “They’re just in it for the money,” or “They’re not who they say they are.”

Sometimes these things come in an escalating list. They can’t get you with deflection or projection? Then they’ll head right into assassination. (Of your character, not you, hopefully.)

At that point the conversation has moved away from service quality and into insinuation. That’s intentional, because character is much harder to defend than results.

The answer here isn’t drama. It’s proof. Testimonials. Case studies. Consistent messaging. Visible longevity. Markets tend to believe what they repeatedly see or hear more than what they hear once in a rumor.

Finally, there are whisper campaigns. 

Nothing is said publicly. You may not have visual proof like a social media post that anything is happening. It’s all private conversations with shared prospects.

This is the hardest one to track, and it’s tempting to start chasing who said what to whom. That rarely ends well. 

Instead, strengthen your direct relationship with your audience. Consistent communication, clear positioning, a strong digital footprint, and visible expertise make whisper campaigns far less effective.

When your reputation is built publicly and repeatedly, quiet whispers have a much harder time sticking.

How to Avoid the Drama

Here’s the bigger truth most people don’t like hearing: the more you react emotionally, the more you validate the drama. The more you stay steady, factual, and focused on serving your clients, the more the market eventually self-corrects.

Is that always fast? No. Is it always fair? Also no.

But long-term reputations are built on consistency, not counterpunching.

If you’re in this situation and it’s affecting revenue or reputation, it may be worth having a deeper strategy conversation. Sometimes documentation, proactive messaging, or even legal considerations come into play, but those decisions are very situational and require context.

In the meantime, remember this:

Don’t argue about their version of the story. Don’t chase every rumor. Don’t try to defend against fog.

Bring it back to your ABC. Stay on the core issue, stay consistent, and let your receipts speak.

Reach out to me directly if you need guidance on your specific situation.

—Vicky Wu